Flings Glitter!

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Last week I participated in a race called The Jailbreak.

Actually, it was more of an adventure. I just wasn't content to try a regular old 5K, I had to go for the one that included obstacles. Things like crawling through a drainage pipe, climbing a wet and muddy A-frame with a soaking wet rope, carrying concrete weights while weaving through barrels, and crawling through a mud pit to get to the finish line.

Climbing the cargo net was possibly the single scariest thing I've ever done in my life - especially when I had to go over the top - but I made it, shaky hands and all.

 

After an extremely long, thorough shower, I discovered some spectacular cuts and bruises under all that mud that I consider to be proof of my bravery. I also discovered one heck of a sunburn, thanks to running in Texas in the afternoon with no sunblock.

All in all, I'm pretty proud of myself.

A couple of months ago I couldn't even get behind the wheel of a car I was so scared, and now I'm an official Jailbreak Escapee.

You'd better believe I'm doing it again next year.

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What's your Happy?

Don't think you have one? Look harder. Something will make you smile today. 

We want to know! 

Share it with the world on your blog and then link up below, tweet it out (hashtag #DOHMonday #WithTheBand) or share it on Facebook. Whatever you want to do, do it. Just find a bit of happy in this Monday! 

Friday I became engaged.

My boyfriend of two years took me to the house that we are in the process of purchasing after dinner, had electric candles lit and lining the sidewalk up to the door and proposed right there on the front porch. I was completely in shock and cried hysterically.

Of course I said yes. 

It's a very strange feeling, looking down at the ring on my finger and realizing, "Wow, I'm going to be someone's wife. I'm going to have a husband!" Never in a million years would I have ever thought I was going to get married.

Before I met my now fiance, I was the notorious "Lone Ranger." The hard, sometimes cold, crass, asshole friend that every group seems to have. She could drink the men under the table, cuss like a sailor, spout off disgusting jokes that could make the most perverted blush, and never seemed to take relationships seriously.

That was me, and I played the role well.

After growing up and hearing over and over that I needed a man to complete me, make me happy, and to take care of me, I started to become a little resentful. I set out to prove that I didn't need a fucking man to do anything for me!

While most girls my age were planning their dream weddings or popping out babies, I was working 50 hours a week, paying my own bills and joking with my friends that if my vibrator could mow the lawn, I'd be all set! It was my life, I made it, and I enjoyed it.

But, as most things do, it all changed in a flash.

I met him. He was hilarious, loved the same music and movies, was just as outrageous and crude as I was and had the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.

I was smitten.

He sent me flowers, wrote little poems, stayed up until the wee hours of the morning just to make sure that I got home from work okay. We would spend our weekends drinking, sharing secrets, listening to music, and having the most mind-blowing sex I had ever experienced.

It came as a complete shock, but I was falling in love with him. I had never been in love before, nor I had never allowed myself to, so this was a brand new experience. It was nothing like how it's described in books or the media. It was the most raw, painful thing I had ever felt, but it was so natural I couldn't help but embrace it. My heart literally ached and my breath caught in my chest whenever I spoke about him.

And it scared the hell out of me.

I had never allowed myself to be vulnerable, how the hell did this happen!? I had severe trust issues due to traumatic experiences in grade school (a story for another day, I'm not strong enough to write that one yet), but somehow it was so easy to open up to him, because he was broken just like I was. But we fit together perfectly, our burned, stomped on, self-deprecating pieces fit. He makes me feel beautiful and I make him feel strong. 

And 2 years later, I am still as in love with him as the first time he kissed me.

It's still sinking in, but I couldn't be happier to be his wife and I couldn't (literally) imagine living the rest of my life with someone else.

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This last week I had my five year old granddaughter stay with me.

Her mom is on vacation and my husband is on a business trip so it was just her and I for a week together.

One day we had a surprise party for my doberman, Blue.

My granddaughter made a decoration of construction paper cut outs glued together and colored a Spiderman picture. I made a sign: "Surprise Blue" to which she had me add "and Snowflake" because that was her dog name in our ongoing pretend game. We spent two days whispering and planning while Blue was in another room.

For his surprise he got three dog treats and we bought him a new dog toy. As far as I know, he was surprised and loved his treats and new toy.

We posted the pictures on Facebook for Mom and Papa to see.

Then we took Blue on a surprise walk. What a fun happy day the three of us had!

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What's your Happy?

Don't think you have one? Look harder. Something will make you smile today. 

We want to know! 

Share it with the world on your blog and then link up below, tweet it out (hashtag #DOHMonday #WithTheBand) or share it on Facebook. Whatever you want to do, do it. Just find a bit of happy in this Monday! 

Change can be frightening and difficult for some people, but for others it can be empowering.

This is her story.

This world of mine changes so quickly and drastically, I can hardly keep up.

A year ago I was physically in the same location as I am now, but I can hardly recognize my past self.

A year ago, I was in a serious, long-term, committed relationship. I threw myself into it, determined and convinced that we would be together forever. I was going to marry this boy.

A year ago, I was so delighted to have my best friend back in the country that I spent time with no one but her. My weekdays were spent with the boyfriend. My weekends were reserved for my best friend. We were each others' top priority.

A year ago, I knew exactly what classes to take and what my career was going to be. I had steps A to Z planned out. I knew precisely where I was going and how I was going to get there.

A year ago I was preparing for a semester exchange, viewing it as a charming diversion. I would romp around the East Coast for four months and then Come Home and Resume my Real Life. It was supposed to be a detour, an adventure before continuing down the well-lit path of my Real Life.

But here we are.

One year later.

That trip ended up changing everything.

My world that I thought I knew so well was turned upside-down and shockingly enough, I see my life more clearly than ever now. My life path is not as brightly lit as it was a year ago. But I feel the light from the inside now, and my brightness is enough to give me the courage to keep walking forward.

The boy I was supposed to marry and I are no longer together. It was devastating when it happened, but the further away I get from the relationship the more I see how deluded I was. I loved him and he is a good man. But not the right one for me.

On that "charming diversion," I met an amazing girl. A person who came to know me inside and out and vice versa. And our friendship gradually became something more. I never imagined that I'd fall in love with someone while on that trip and I certainly never thought I would fall in love with a girl. But I wouldn't change a thing.

Our path is anything but clear. We're on scholarships to specific schools, stuck states apart. We're not officially "together," and circumstances prevent us from changing that anytime soon. But I know that the love we feel for each other is different from anything I have ever experienced. And I trust in that.

The best friend and I are still the very best of friends. But instead of focusing on each other as intensely as we did before, we've got different priorities. She is building an incredible career for herself and I am finding my way. We support each other every step, though. She is still my rock, my foundation that I can always count on.

But since I've been back, my other friendships have grown. I've rekindled old relationships and began others. My friends love and support me more than I deserve. I came home and I am grateful everyday for the people I rediscovered here.

That career that I thought I was destined for, I realized I was pursuing for the wrong reasons. I had plenty of time in my semester away to reflect and pray and the more I did, the more I realized how deep down I felt that I was making a huge mistake.

I found the courage to embrace my passion and live my life according to it. I still have a plan but it's more flexible now, and I've slowed down a bit. My life and career isn't a race. I want to take steps when I'm ready, not when I'm "supposed" to.

Last year, I had everything and everyone in my life planned out to a tee. But I think I was doing that to avoid looking inward. The exterior factors in my life were dazzlingly clear. My interior being? Far from it. 

I have prayed more in the last year than I did in the previous three. As I write this I am struck with an immense gratitude for all that God has provided for me in the last year: new people, new experiences, and new goals.

Most importantly He gave me inner peace and faith. So much has changed in the last year that I never expected; how can I begin to predict where I'll be a year from now?

But I found my light.

I found what I'm capable of, who I am, and who I want to be. I learned so much about myself this past year and that knowledge is invaluable. I believe in Him and in myself. No matter where I'm headed, I know I can get there.

Myself.

The path I'm walking is not as illuminated now. But I can feel the light emanating from within me. And I know that light will guide me, step by step. 

February is all about The Happy.

We here at Band Back Together know that winter and the holidays can feel overwhelming, The Depression starts rearing its ugly head.

We're saying goodbye to depression and hello to Project Happy.

So, The Band, what makes you happy?

What brings a smile to your face? Is it a memory? The thought of the future? The brilliance of a sunset? We want to know!

This year for Valentine's Day we decided that there would be no presents. It's not like we could have afforded presents anyway; money is just non-existent these days or something.

What we decided to do instead of celebrate some manufactured holiday was to celebrate Mollie Day. See, our fur-baby came to live with us two years ago around Valentine's Day. We named her Mollie, and she is the best dog EVER.

So, we had a party to celebrate Mollie Day. We all ate steak, and we also all ate red velvet brownies. No, I did not feed the dog chocolate; she got the cream cheese frosting.

This, to me, is what life is about. Celebrating it with those we love, even when those we love are fur-babies.

Mollie Day is my Happy for this month in honor of the day Mollie, Sunshine, and I became a pack.

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Band Back Together has been nominated for Best Group or Community Weblog in the 2013 Bloggies! Visit their site to vote and check out the other categories!