Happiness Day

I spent a lot of years in active addiction, wearing yesterday's clothes and grime. When I first got clean, I did a lot of dressing up so that the outside looked good, in hopes that you wouldn't see past the facade to realize that the inside was a fucked-up, shitty mess.

Today my outside is more of a reflection of what's going on inside. I feel whole, I feel worthwhile, and I feel good, therefore I try to look good.

There's something to be said about the feel of a well-made cashmere sweater or pair of silk sweatpants, or even an uber-comfortable cotton t-shirt that fits like it was made for me. There's just something nice about wearing fancy pants and fancy shoes to go grocery shopping. I lived too long in the filth and desperation of addiction to deny myself some little luxuries today. 

Now, looking good doesn't have to be expensive. Yes, I wear a lot of high-end brands because I'm worth it, but here's a secret--I never pay full price. There is something thrilling about finding a pair of Armani pants on a clearance rack for $25 (yes, it happens). Must be endorphins, because it's quite pleasant like a good buzz.

I digress.

Well, today I am riding one serious endorphin-based high. I got new shoes. Not just any new shoes. Jimmy Choo shoes. Nude patent leather sandals on cork platform wedges. Brand New In Box. For $85. And? They feel really good on my feet--great arch support, heel and ball of foot cushioning, and light as feathers. My first pair of Jimmy Choo shoes!

Tell me that's not a dose of happy.

Happiness is...

Happiness is so many things to so many people. For some, it's tinkering around in the garden. For others, it's talking on the phone with a friend. For still others, it's getting an hour-long massage from that super-hot masseuse.

On this day, Happiness Day, August 8, 2012, we at the Band want to know what makes YOU happy?

Where do you find Your Happy?

Last week I was telling someone about how, as someone who suffers with an invisible illness, I try to put all the good I can out into the universe. Not because I expect something back, but because just the doing of it makes my heart lighter.

If you have any chronic condition, you know how awesome it is to find what lightens your load.

I truly don't care if the good karma or vibes or glittery covered cupcakes ever find their way back to me. I don't do these things to gain something, it's just about giving someone a smile.

This last Saturday, it all came back.

ALL OF IT.

Saturday started a weekend of travel for my boyfriend and I. We were heading to the coast where his band was headlining a local fair and then we were headed to my hometown to spend a belated birthday with my son.

We set out around 1pm Saturday full of high hopes. About an hour and a half later, we were broke down in a little town that I didn't know existed. We spent the next four hours trying to get our car to stop overheating. We finally had it stabilized only to have it completely die about a mile outside of this little town.

In the middle of nowhere.

In triple digit heat.

Thank the lucky stars that my boyfriend has Roadside Assistance included in his insurance policy. They sent someone out, and my boyfriend started calling friends and family to beg a car to borrow. I was sure we were doomed and was already mourning the loss of my mini vacation with my son.

I was wrong.

A short list of good deeds that day:

The tow truck driver drove us back into the town and helped to unload all of my boyfriend's musical gear. He then towed our car back to our apartment, over an hour in the opposite direction.

The young lady working at an adorable coffee shop allowed two sweaty, irritable and stressed people (us) to store all their musical gear and traveling paraphernalia in the back of the shop while we awaited our ride.

My boyfriend's aunts came to the rescue with a car to borrow for the remainder of the weekend.

My boyfriend's band had to start the show without him, but when we arrived? The crowd started cheering for him as he rushed to get his gear set up on stage.

And, after not having eaten since ten that morning, when we stopped at the local Subway, the two teenagers working stayed open a few extra minutes to make our sandwiches and let us eat them there. They'd also had a rough day, but didn't hesitate to go out of their way to help us and make us feel welcome.

When we finally fell into bed that night, tired, filthy, and stressed, we had smiles on our faces. Who knew there were so many good people left in the world?

If I hadn't believed in it before, I most certainly do now. Pay it forward, folks, send out some goodness. Not because you want to get something in return but for the joy in it.

You just might be amazed to find how the universe will repay you.

And in case you were wondering? We spent the next three days visiting with my son. The three of us got to bond as a future family and my mother and I actually got along. I may be broke with a busted car in the driveway, but I've just won the lottery of life.

Happiness is...

Happiness is so many things to so many people. For some, it's tinkering around in the garden. For others, it's talking on the phone with a friend. For still others, it's getting an hour-long massage from that super-hot masseuse.

On this day, Happiness Day, August 8, 2012, we at the Band want to know what makes YOU happy?

Where do you find Your Happy?

This was a very timely subject for me. I woke up this morning and it was a normal day. Then it got worse on the way to breakfast: my mother was her usual unbending, stubborn, everyone-needs-to-change-to-suit-me self.

When I got on the internet, I saw that today's topic is happiness. I thought it was nice but wasn't planning to write anything. Then I had one more interaction with my mother: I teased her, she was going to slap me, and I blocked her slap. This made me so extremely, irrationally happy that it's been over a half-hour and every time I think of it, I can't help but smile.

And I realised that over the past two years of college and my last year of high school, there's been a lot of happiness:

• Going to college in a different state
• Self-defense classes
• Aikido classes
• Going to India for three months to study abroad with nine strangers
• Going to Thailand alone for three months to study abroad and learn Muay Thai
• Learning to stand up to my mother and not just take it when she's rude

Each of these experiences gave me just a little bit more strength and personal confidence so that today, I was able to do something that was mentally impossible for me to do four or five years ago.

And I just can't stop smiling.

Happiness is...

Happiness is so many things to so many people. For some, it's tinkering around in the garden. For others, it's talking on the phone with a friend. For still others, it's getting an hour-long massage from that super-hot masseuse.

On this day, Happiness Day, August 8, 2012, we at the Band want to know what makes YOU happy?

Where do you find Your Happy?

The past few months have been hell, but I guess moving to the same city as your abuser and their enabler would do that for most folks.

Through it all though I have realized I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel again. Even though at times the darkness was, and occasionally still is, overwhelming I can see the good for the first time in a LONG time. It feels amazing.

Where to start?

Well, for the first time in our married lives my husband and I finally "have it together" (well, all but our normal amount of quirkiness). 

We are still living paycheck-to-paycheck while we figure out how to budget our "extra" money, but we can pay ALL our bills, not just the ones threatening to shut us off. 

Then there is the fact that I finally feel like I am accomplishing my goals; that my past doesn't have to can't/won't negatively affect how I live my life. I am a semester away from having my BA in psychology and am currently applying to grad schools (OMG, the stress!) to attend next fall.

This whole time I've been thinking, "I can do this. I AM doing this."

Of course, I can't forget my husband and kids - they are just in my face happy all the time. They are the things that get me through to the next day.

I am glad I have found the ability to find happiness and joy in other things these days. It was a long time coming, but I can finally say I can always find the happy.

Happiness is...

Happiness is so many things to so many people. For some, it's tinkering around in the garden. For others, it's talking on the phone with a friend. For still others, it's getting an hour-long massage from that super-hot masseuse.

On this day, Happiness Day, August 8, 2012, we at the Band want to know what makes YOU happy?

Where do you find Your Happy?

For many of us, music isn't just a hobby but also something that helps us to cope during difficult times (it also makes for great living room dance parties.) "Happy" made me think about music, and so I considered songs that have words like "happy", "joy", "smile", and "sunshine" in the title.

Here are ten.

EnJoy!

Ren & Stimpy - Happy Happy Joy Joy

War - Sing A Happy Song

Ramones - California Sun

Sly & the Family Stone - (You Caught Me) Smilin'

Stevie Wonder - You Are The Sunshine of My Life

The 5th Dimension - Sunshine Of Your Love

The Who - Happy Jack

Isaac Hayes - Joy

Al Green - Love and Happiness

Ray Charles - You Are My Sunshine