I am a child of divorce. I'm in my thirties and my parents just got divorced. I learned on Sunday that the divorce was published in my hometown's local newspaper - second set of names on the list. That I missed the announcement (does anyone else find it a little bizarre that a divorce is announced in the paper like a wedding, anniversary or birth?) solidifies the my feelings about the whole thing.

It's been two years since the divorce, but twenty years in the making. My folks were together for nearly thirty-five years, which boggled my mind. They were so different - my dad rarely raised his voice or stood up-for himself, while my mom tried to dominate and control everything. Since the divorce, my dad has made changes for the better and I'm happy to see his new-found confidence.

I'm frustrated with my mother who has been in denial. Now that it's final, she may be coming around, but I'm afraid to bring up the Big D to her. I've been keeping my distance from her after we had a big falling out in December. We needed space, and I'm a much happier, much more stable person because of it.

I know I'm not the first or last child of divorce. I'm in my thirties; not the oldest person to see my parents split. There are still challenges:

I feel stuck in the middle ... often. My siblings are grown and I'm the only one who was married when they split. My dad was honest and answered any questions I had. That was nice - we grew closer. My mom used me for support, crying to me sometimes, but generally she just took out her anger on my kids and me. Do NOT fuck with my kids. (See why I need my space from her?)

Explaining the whole situation to my children was hard. My youngest will never know her grandparents together; they split days after her first birthday. My inquisitive oldest has had a few more questions, but we've dealt with them as they've come up. The trick here is to only give them as much information as they can handle. The more questions they ask, the more we give, open and honestly.

Figuring out holidays, birthdays, and visits is tricky. My family of four lives two hours away. When we visit, we have to deal with transportation and accommodation issues. We'd already been pulled in two different directions after we got married. Now, we're pulled apart like silly putty...and it's awesomely awkward when we all get together.

Dealing with the loss of a safety net was stressful. We never relied too heavily on my parents, but it was nice to know they were there if we needed them. There have been some desperate moments when we've had to leave our children with my unstable mother over the last two years, and we paid for it. We've had to spend the following week deprogramming them. I've learned that small doses may be the answer until she reaches complete acceptance. This may never happen.

My parents told me more than I needed to know. I am a married adult and the oldest of four daughters - my parents have given me more information than I needed to hear. I had an aunt who has said this to me: "You know too much. You are still their children; they need to respect that!"