I love life. I'm just tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of this headache. I'm just tired.

But I love life. I love my children, my husband, my writing.

I'm just... tired.

I want to close my eyes and sleep for a million years. It'll never happen. Someone will jump on the bed, expecting a snuggle.

Characters will invade my head, taking up all the empty corners, crowding in them, and waking me up. They will demand I write, even though the words don't come easily right now.

I'm tired.

I don't want to blog hop just to get comments on my blog, on my writing. I just want it to happen. I don't want to bother with even needing to be validated right now.

I'm tired.

My get-up-and-go got up and left a few weeks ago. I've seen a few glimpses of it, but it escapes before I can get motivated.

I'm tired of being hormonal 98% of the month. I'm tired of raging, of having an attitude. I am tired of diabetes and watching what I eat, worrying if that numbness in my finger is diabetes-related. I could lose a finger, did you know?

I'm happy, so why can't I act happy?!?

Because I am tired. I just want to sleep. But even then, I'll wake up and I'll still be tired and have a headache to boot. Oversleep is worse than insomnia.

So, I'm tired. I'm blah, I'm apathetic, I need attention. Hey, everybody, look at me!!

Yeah. I'm her today.

I'm tired, so tired. I'm achy. My sugars are probably off.

I just want to close my eyes and forget about everything for a while. Just for a moment I'd like to not be a mom. I'd like to not be a wife. I'd like to not keep house. Just for a moment.

Just for a moment, I want to veg. Feel the arthritis in my shoulder. Feel my knees groan in protest when I straight them out. I just want to be. For no reason at all.

Just for a moment.

by TheDramaMama; Published on March 04, 2012
Filed under: Parenting,  Marriage and Partnership,  The Diabetes,  Depression
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