Over one forth of all households in the US are single-parent households.
This is her story.
I honestly never intended to have children. I wasn't one of those little girls that dreamed of motherhood. When my husband and I got married, we both went into it knowing neither of us wanted a child.
Then something changed.
The possibility of a child came up in discussion in the bathroom over morning teeth brushing. For the next few weeks, we talked about it, and decided together that I'd finish the birth control pill pack I was taking, and not refill it. I'd been on the pill for more than ten years - it might take ages to get pregnant.
In no time at all, I was pregnant. And I was excited. I had an easy pregnancy; I loved being pregnant. I was one of the fortunate women that felt round and ripe, beautiful and strong while pregnant.
Baby boy was born, and all was well. Breastfeeding went well, and being a mom - though hard - felt comfortable.
But I realized something was wrong with my marriage.
I felt like a single mom who happened to be married. I did more than 95% of the baby work. I went back to work after eight weeks, and yet somehow all the child care was still my responsibility. My husband was not the parenting partner I'd thought he would be.
These weren't the only problems in my marriage, but they were the final straw on my camel's back.
I sought the divorce.
I am happier for it. Sometimes, though, I miss having someone to turn to for help. While I was married, on those days, when I was at the end of my rope, I could turn to him and say, "I just can't do it."
And he would rock the baby to bed, or bathe him. I'd use that short break and regain my balance.
Now I really am a single parent. I find that I get frustrated more quickly. I raise my voice more often. I instantly regret it when I do it and then I feel guilty.
Sometimes, I think he's now the better parent. We're amicable enough and sometimes it seems to me that he handles our son better than I do. That he gained patience, after our divorce, while I lost it.
Don't get me wrong, I have friends and family as a support network. But it's not the same as having someone right there in the house with you to share the burdens and the joys.
I never understood the truth of needing a village to raise a child, but I do now. When you are tasked with filling every role in the village, you realize how hard parenting is.
You come to appreciate how much you really need the rest of the village.
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