We all have letters we'd like to send, but know that we can't. A letter to someone we no longer have a relationship with, a letter to a family member or friend who has died, a letter to reclaim our power or our voice from an abuser. Letters where actual contact is just not possible for whatever reason.
Do you have a letter you'd like to send but can't? If so, send it to us.
However, please keep in mind the mission of Band Back Together and the Guidelines for Submission when writing your letter. This isn't the place for rants, cruelty or judgment, but a place for you to write it out to help you heal.
Remember the year your family lived at our grandmother's house when we were teenagers? We spent hours sitting on your bedroom floor talking. We should have done more of that. If I could go back in time, I would refuse every afternoon phone call I got that year to spend more time talking to you.
Sometimes I listen to Dave Matthews Band. I don't even like them very much, but I remember that you used to go to their concerts after you moved away, so their music makes me think of you.
I want to know all the little things about your life. What music do you love now? Do you like coffee? What is your favorite TV show? Do you have someone special in your life?
The last time I saw you was ten years ago. I asked you hard questions. I wanted to know if you had the same memories from our childhood that I did, and I wanted to know if you could fill in the blanks where some of mine are painfully missing.
Did I tell you, sitting in the dark Denny's parking lot, that you were the only person I could ask? I hope I did. I hope you know you were the only person in the family I trusted, and the one person I would allow to see me cry.
I am thankful you told me who I could talk to, so I would know I wasn't the only one. Even though it is so sad, that was the greatest gift you could have given me. You were brave that night in your honesty. Much braver than me. I think you told me who I am, or at least who I was.
In the years since that talk, I have grown, healed, and changed. My honesty has built a chasm between me and the family, but I couldn't live in their bubble of denial and lies any longer. I don't regret anything I said or wrote publicly, but I regret that I lost my connection with you.
I wish you would have stayed on the phone and not have hung up when I tried to call you in March. (Did you even know I was the person calling?) I wish I could know all the little things about you. I wish I could put my arms around you and hug you forever. I wish I could know the one big thing I wonder most of all - are you happy? I hope you are. I hope your life has become everything you wanted it to be and more.
I love you with my whole heart, and I always will.
*My cousin's name has been changed to protect his privacy.12 Comments