This is his story.
I will try and avoid upsetting anyone with strong religious beliefs, but I want to create an argument for my scrotum being more miraculous than the so-called miracle of birth.
The way our IVF doctor was carrying on, I started to wonder how anyone became pregnant. I am not sure if she wanted to stifle our hope, or just create a negative atmosphere, but she talked to us about all the chemical reactions and minute factors that have to be just perfect for a woman to become pregnant.
For someone selling the hope of getting pregnant, she was doing a lousy job with us. Perhaps she had seen my 96% abnormality rated goods and was trying to let us down gently; if a divine power had given me this empty sack, it could well be for good reason.
I did not harbour the same outlook on this though.
In the recent past our world’s population is said to have reached 7 billion people. In the history of time, over 105 billion people have been born. That is one big recurring miracle.
On the other hand, when I did the IVF dummy test, the doctor - who I don’t think could believe it herself - advised that in my entire sample, she could only find one sperm that was suitable for IVF treatment. Not 100, not 1 in ten thousand…one. Singular.
Taking into account that the average ejaculate consists of between 50 and 500 million sperm, surely my sperm is the miracle. My body is so efficient that it will only ejaculate one working sperm each time I…you know.
Once again, the inadequacy of my baby making facilities surpassed all expectation and failed on a spectacular level. I had to admit it though; for all their shortcomings, my balls sure as hell made me laugh.
Perhaps I should donate them to science.2 Comments