In my sixteen years, I've never had to deal with the problem of bullying from others. However, as long as I can remember I have been a big bully to myself.

  • "Why are you alone on a Friday night? On a Saturday night? On any night? Because NO ONE wants to hang out with you! No one likes you!"
  • "You aren't really asexual! You're just deluding yourself!"
  • "You think your life's bad? You don't even have a reason for being depressed!"
  • "The reason you're doing badly in school isn't because you don't function well in school, it's because you're dumb as a post! You don't deserve to be in your classes, you're not that smart!"
  • "Of course your sisters don't want to talk to you. They have better friends than you in college!"

I try not to listen to these things I say to myself and keep them shut out. But I can count on one hand the people that really know me and that care about me. I'm so alone.

I won't crack. Won't let me get to me. I'll keep smiling for my family and keep telling my friends that I'm 'just tired.' I'll just keep it all inside, keep it all behind my wall.

I don't want to be like this, but I am. Maybe there's nothing I can do.

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