I am a 32 year old mother of 4. Two girls and two boys. We adopted my sons half brother from his evil mother in Dec. 2010. I am married to the love of my life most of the time until he pisses me off at least. I hate me most of the time. I suffer from some pretty dark stuff. Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Depression. And just general hatred of me. I love my children and I don't want them to ever know I suffer. I also suffer from chronic pain that doctors don't have answers to. Hoping to have those answers soon so I can live again. And my husband doesn't always understand. So I feel alone a lot. I have a lot of dark topics, that I am afraid to write about but sooner or later I will need to. Many or things I have only discussed with my husband and mother. I hope to find friends and support here and I'm always happy to lend and ear or a shoulder to cry on.