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Sometimes, It Hurts More Than It Should

I’m lonely. I’m really lonely. Yet I’m married, have four amazing kids and a dog. Yet, I am so lonely that it sometimes feels like my chest will explode. I used to have friends.  I used to be the life of the party.  I was always the one that did the crazy stunts or...

Antenatal Depression – The One They Don’t Talk About

Depression and I have been dancing partners for more than a decade now. Sometimes it’s a slow waltz, sometimes a spinning reel, and sometimes I get to sit off to one side and take a nice relaxing break from my dark friend. Over the years I’ve learned to observe my own...

How’s Gabriel?

How’s Gabriel? I hear that all the time.  There is no simple answer.  But answering it is the focus of my daily life.  Every day.  The real answer is Gabriel’s not OK. Gabriel is Bipolar. His moods shift. Daily. Weekly. Yearly. He is never OK. I spend my days like a...

#MeToo: On The Other Side

At the age of 3, my father began sexually molesting me. At the age of 5, the sexual abuse was replaced by physical abuse from my father and my mother. At the age of 9, both my mother and father went to rehab for alcoholism. At the age of 10, I finally knew what it was...

Lost: Mental Health Meanderings of a Tired, Ticked Off Thirty-Something Woman

This week has been a struggle. In brief: I have a chronic mental health condition, and have struggled for years to find mental and emotional stability. I’m also a woman, and am impacted heavily by hormonal fluctuations that occur on a monthly basis. Anyone who feels...

I Just Wish Someone Understood…

A wise woman told me to write up my story and tell the hell out of it.  So, here I am. Sometimes, I feel like I have the only kid like mine. My son was diagnosed between 3 and 4. He is one of 3 I have, with special needs. For the time being, I’m focusing on my...